Banana Blow Jobs
by elin2002
Summary: Roger gets a call from his uncle inviting him home for dinner along with the bohos and craziness insues


_**(So had a crazy idea while working today, I've never actually tried it so I don't know if it works but I thought the imagery of it was funny so I hope you enjoy. I don't own Rent or Hair wish I did though.)**_

"SSSPPPEEEAAAKKK!"

"Rog! It's Uncle Berger, your mom told me to call you and invite you guys for dinner. Unfortunately I was supposed to do it last week. But don't tell her that, I told her you guys were busy. So cover for me please?"

"Hell no, I'm telling her." Roger said answering the phone with a laugh.

"Please Rog, she'll kill me." Said Berger.

"Too bad. I'm saving my own ass she's already pissed at me cause I didn't tell her about Mimi when we started dating."

"Fine, you and the planets are to be here at 6 tomorrow."

"You got it." Said Roger laughing because that was Berger's way of telling him that the world doesn't revolve around him.

"Later man." Said Berger.

"Later." Said Roger laughing as he hung up.

A short time later the loft started to fill with his friends and he informed them that they were invited to his mother's.

"I have to warn you guys my mom and uncle are unconventional." Said Roger to Mimi, Joanne, and Angel.

"What do you mean 'unconventional'?" Asked Joanne as Collins laughed out loud.

"They were hippies." Said Roger.

"_Were_? Boy they still are, which reminds me are we smoking with Berger?"

"Do we ever not?" Asked Roger as he pulled Mimi into his lap.

"You're gonna smoke pot? Is that okay for you to do?" Asked Mimi worried.

"Yeah it's fine, I'll be fine Babe." Said Roger kissing her temple.

_**(The Next Evening)**_

Everyone was meeting at the loft before heading over to Roger's mother's house. After everyone got there they promptly left and made it there in record time. Roger jogged up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"You knock on the door?" Asked Mimi.

"Trust me in this house you learn it coming out of the womb." Said Roger with a laugh.

"Hey Kid." Said Berger opening the door.

"Hey, what's up?" Asked Roger.

"The usual. Get in here before Jeanie yells at me again."

"Ma yelling at you that never happens." Said Roger sarcastically.

"Well since you moved out it happens a lot less."

"I'm sure it does, cause every mother wants their 13 year old son to know how to give blow jobs to a banana." Said Roger.

"I was showing you a different way to eat them."

"Sure keep telling yourself that." He said hugging his uncle. "By the way this is my girlfriend Mimi, Joanne, and Angel."

"Nice to me you guys." Said Berger. "Jeanie the rugrat's here."

"I'm not a rugrat; I haven't been one for a long time."

"You'll always be one." Said a female voice coming out of the kitchen.

"Hi Ma."

"Hi Honey, how are you? Feeling okay?"

"I'm good Ma, I'm as healthy as I can be."

"I just want you to be okay."

"I'll be fine, I'm taking my meds. Trust me between everyone I'm not able to forget to take them."

"Good." She greeted everyone she knew before waiting for Roger to introduce who she didn't know.

"Ma, this is my girlfriend Mimi, Joanne, and Angel."

"It's nice to meet you guys. Why don't you all go sit down while I go check on dinner."

"Now I want to hear about the banana blow jobs." Said Mimi.

"I was hanging out with him while Jeanie was doing something with Sheila for the day. I got bored." Started Berger.

"And high." Said Roger.

"I smoked half a joint."

"When I was home, how about before I got home?" Asked Roger with a smile.

"Anyways, I decided it was time to talk to him about sex. Since they were going to be doing a sex-ed class at his school. The original plan was to show him how to put a condom on, but I knew if he was anything like me when I was that age he would be curious, so showing him how to give a blow job would be important too."

"So he goes and gets a banana and cuts the stem off."

"Can you still do it?" Asked Berger.

"Yes, not that I've been practicing but it's kind of hard to forget."

"Jeanie went grocery shopping and got some, go get them." Said Berger.

Roger got up smiling and went into the kitchen grabbed a knife and the bananas.

"Just where do you think you're going with those?" Jeanie asked sternly.

"Um we wanted a snack?"

"Uh-huh, well at least you're 24 and not 13. Go."

"Alright got them, and she's on to us."

"Oh well." Said Berger. "She needs to chill." He said loud enough for her to hear him.

"Bite me Berger!"

"Okay, so what you do is cut the stem off but only enough to see the top." Said Roger as he cut the banana and showed them. "Then you stick it in your mouth and suck or whatever your technique is. But you have to be careful if you use your teeth."

"Why, you like it when I use my teeth." Said Mimi with a smile.

"Yes, but my reaction and the banana's are two different things."

"What do you mean?" Asked Mimi.

"A banana bruises, and then you get pre-banana cum. After that it loses its erection. Whereas my reaction is orgasm, cum, then lose my erection." He said smiling.

"Show us." Said Maureen wanting to see this done.

"Do you want to race old man?"

"You're on." Said Berger readying the fruit.

"Ready, set, go!" Said Collins.

"I can't believe we're watching this." Said Mark with a laugh.

"This is strangely erotic." Said Angel laughing with him.

It took about five minutes of watching the two grown men suck off the bananas Jeanie watched from the kitchen on the phone with Sheila giving her a play by play of the game.

"DONE! And the student surpasses the teacher." Said Roger laughing as he started eating the banana.

"Sheila, I don't know if I should be proud or slightly disturbed that my son just got a banana out of its peel by sucking it out."

"I would be proud; he beat Berger at something that he's really good at." Said Sheila with a laugh.

"I have to go. Dinner's ready and I want to get to know my son's girlfriend."

"Sounds good hon, tell Roger I said congratulations on being the Banana Blow Job Champion."

"I will. Bye Sheila."

"Bye."

"Guys if you're done having oral sex with the fruit dinner's ready." Said Jeanie.

"Great, let's eat." Said Berger.

Dinner was a lively affair complete with stories from everyone about their lives, but sadly soon it was time for everyone to return home. They said goodbye to Jeanie and Berger and headed home.

Later that night Roger and Mimi were laying in bed joking around, she was cuddled into his side with her head on his chest.

"Rog?"

"Yeah?"

"When you told your uncle you hadn't practiced in a while did you mean with the banana or with an actual dick?"

"Both, I haven't sucked another man off since high school, you know that. We've talked about this before when we talked about our pasts."

"I know but I was just wondering if something happened when you were using, ya know like when you didn't have money."

"No that was one thing during that time that I was smart about, I never did anything with anyone to get drugs, ya know unless April was holding out on me."

"Okay. So would you want to tutor me on the skill of sucking the banana?"

"Baby, you already are the best for me. And remember use your teeth I don't bruise like the banana did."


End file.
